Saturday, October 29, 2005
I cant seem to sleep,somethin not so good happened kasi,now Im in deep thoughts.Well here's a poem.....
The Hate Poem
I hate the rain that pours,it shows how I feel today
I hate the frosting cold cause in the bed I have to stay
I hate to stay up late,wishing i could talk to you somehow
I hate it when they laugh at me,everytime I want to ask you out
I hate the feeling of being lonely,cause Im not used to it
I hate to think that you're with someone else,I might as well get hit
I hate the way I tremble when they speak of your name
I hate myself everytime I think that our thoughts are the same
I hate it when I realised,to have you is a hard thing to do
And to do that I need a lifetime or two
I hate it when I think you are ignoring me
I hate the thought that you're just kind and pretending to be happy
I hate it when I lose hope when it comes to having you
Cause I have no fucking idea what else I have to do
I hate my dream when it is about me and you
For Im scared of the fact that it is not true
I hate the day you'll decide not to give me a chance
For I have been pestering you for several months
I hate to hide my feelings from you
I hate it how you make me happy and at the same time blue
I hate the fact I rarely see you now
I wasted so much time cause I was fooling around
I hate it when I tell other women I love them
When I long to tell you that way back then
You are definitely what I need,to have and to hold
Fom now on and till we both grow old
Im this world a i hate a million of things
But you have no idea what joy to me you bring
i loathed you @
5:00 PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Loneliness that everyone becomes......
My eyes hurt,my lungs hurt,my head hurts,I think am gonna die,or maybe not. Things arent goin so well for me this sem break,well I flunked an important subject and am so bored Ive got nothing good to do.
My alcohol tolerance is getting lower and lower. I got drunk after 6 bottles of Grand Ma-ther father. The whole world was spinning,and so was my stomach.
I got meself a new band,my friends here who also has a band lacked a guitarist,told them I would try out for the band,well they told me that was no longer needed,Im in. Oh well,I hope they were freakin serious,we were a bit drunk at that time.
Things are goin well with that girl from PUP,she seems to be interesting but I'd rather not meet her.My friend who introduced me to her wanted us to meet,but am not in the mood for fiwshing anymore.Am more mature now.I dont want my attention to be swayed.Like I said before,focus to one girl only,focus.
I want to buy a new guitar,and a new electric guitar,the old ones are still good but Id like a new set.Maybe I'll visit sta mesa this week.
Only push the way off to fight you,am sorry am sorry Im not sure.
i loathed you @
3:30 AM
Friday, October 21, 2005
Dammit Im Sick!
I barely had enough sleep last night because I caught cold. It was disgusting,I was shooting snot all over the place,I cant stop my sneezing. Oh well,that's why I dont have a good post today,my mind is clogged by mucus and boogey.
A classmate in elementary texted me again,she wants us to have so-called reunion with our other former classmates.And I asked her if she could hook me up with one of her "friends"(pretty that is)in PUP and she said yes.I was hoping for an easy going chick but she gave me the number of a girl which I think is twice my IQ,I only want to go fishing,and not get entangled with just someone.Oh well,maybe I should stop my escapades,and besides Im currently so into a girl right now that I no longer have the balls to look at other women.You may not believe me but that is definitely true,I swear. So I will not pursue on hitting on that smart-than-me girl.Instead,imma focus,focus bro,focus,you can do it,focus.
I cant decide what to wear on 28.I was invited to a Halloween party by this povedan girl which is the cousin of ahhh!!!!! its a long story.I cant believe meself being with those rich ass people.I would probably look like dirt. I dont even know why that girl invited me,we were not that close,only met her once,not even constant communication. Maybe they needed a mascot,or someone really scary,do I look scary?Some people think I look like Gyun Woo,but he looks like Smokey,Korean bastards.Maybe I'll just come naked,but those are just high school girls,means I could end up in jail if......Aha!You bad person you!
i loathed you @
6:09 PM
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Boring,boring,boring
Im so bored this sem break. There's nothing to do,I just stay in front of my pc or the tv for hours and make myself fatter. I hope something good will happen,am planning to go to Sagada,with my sister and cousin. I want to drink tapoy and smoke Ilocano cigars,and buy weed. Weed is cheap there,a hundred bucks would give you a ball the size of your fist. But am not an addict,swear,I even passed my drug test,am a kind soul you know.Am just going to buy as pasalubong for my friends.
I envy my friend who went to Vigan,he's goin to buy us empanada and paltik(a .38 revolver).He would be back on friday.
Ah am so bored,thank heaven's for the internet.
i loathed you @
4:30 AM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Sad things
This weekend was the most unhappy weekend I know. pSome people passed away. The first was my sisters' friend,died in a motorcycle accident. Then my friend's sister,heart attack. I should learn to cherish my life more,plus the world is bound to an end so near that you could feel it. Am trying to be a good person as much as I can,yeah I may sound a bit emotional today,but hey, this is for real,no fictional crap Im inventing.
Oh well,am still not over me being kicked out of my band,a band I helped develop into what it is now. My friends just laughed at me when I made "sumbong" to them.(Yack ang conyo)But a good friend told me somethin that made me feel great,fame is something that would never last a lifetime. I would be better off pursuing my education than a dreaming of becoming some icon that has no security whatsoever.And this came from a man who finished his college degree in 6 and a half years,and we are so proud of him.
As the days pass I miss her more,(tear drop),am goin dramatic again. What I really need is a serious relationship,maybe not now,because to have the girl I need,I think I have to conquer the world first,(yeah it sounds like Sweet Home Alabama,you guessed it right smart ass),which would probably take me two or more lifetimes. Why,cause Im doing nothing,cause Im the "turbo torpe",you might think Im the easy going gigolo guy,nuh uh,Im shy as a turtle as they say. Me ah,not captain winky,baka may mag-isip ng masama eh.
I really love to write,am trying to stop the teeny bopper posts,I want to be more mature,more serious,talk of things that comes in my mind without censorship,am not implying that Im a total pervert,it is much like being free to say whatever I want.Anyways,this is my blog,I could say anything I want.
Sleep well girl,I want to see you soon.
i loathed you @
5:00 PM
Saturday, October 15, 2005
I got cut.
I just got the cut. They have reached the final verdict. I am out of the Old Blue Box band. Yeah, my bassist just spilled the beans. He said I was "too busy" which is true because I give high value to my education. They would replace me for now, which probably means permanently. Am not angry or something, but it sucks that they cut me off now when I am longing for a gig cause its the sem break,and I miss performing. That was why they were avoiding me these past few days. Oh well,my studies are of top priority now,its fun to have a band and all,but this is college amigos,there's a lot more security for my future if I would study than focus entirely on the band.I have no regrets for keeping myself busy in school. And I just wish them all the luck,i dont know who my replacement was though.I feel bad,we agreed back then that no gigs during the school days,and would only return on sem breaks. But look what a little fame could do,tsktsk,I do hope that recognition could get us guys somewhere,I mean you guys. I'll study na lang,bury myself in books,or I could go solo,my sched next sem is not too tight,maybe I'll try my luck as an acoustic artist,for the love of playing.You guys will do fine,am sure of that.
i loathed you @
7:08 PM
Friday, October 14, 2005
Urm!
Am so irritated by the fact that there's spreading a word among my high school buddies that I am back with my ex. Its not that Im holding any grudges against her or anything,its just that some people could really tick me off.I dont know what made them think that way. Must be because of last friday's activity with them. Here it goes,it was a drinking session,she got wasted I watched over her,yeah we looked kinda sweet,barf, but only because I was half amazing that time.Im not trying to be mayabang or anything,its just that I believe that once an ex,would remain as an ex,no turning back,but our friends keep on insisting that I give it another shot. It's crap! Why would you go back to someone you broke up with?Love,ahhh pethuey love my boot.Plus one of our friends texted me the cheesiest question ever,I still answered it though,cause im cheesy.
Now a question popped inside my head,am I turning into a hater?
Uhm well maybe not,its probably because Im so into a girl right now,she always keep me preoccupied in day dreaming,but no naughty dreams,trust me,mature na ako,ehehe.But am only halfway thru my 2 month chick holiday,yeah I always have that after break ups,2 months of reminiscing,erm enjoying my single life rather. Then after that back to the drawing board. I dont reminisce,am no Joe D Mango,the past is history,what's more important is,no not the future,no star wars thingy today,the present.
Ohana means family.
Family means no one gets left behind,or forgotten.
Madeline and Lilo & Stitch are the most significant cartoons man has ever made.
i loathed you @
7:49 PM
I had a dramatic come back post a while ago. It all went down to the drain within a single click. Fuckin dial up connection,i hope your office burns tonight!
i loathed you @
6:20 PM